My last relationship ended in 2010. Since then I’ve been in this dating cycle:
Before you call me a man-bashing, bitter female, hear me out for a minute. don’t get me wrong, most days it’s empowering and liberating to be so independent, but of course there are days when it gets lonely and being single just downright sucks!
Trying to meet “the one” is a daunting task for some single people and the way we meet our potential partners is changing. Is it just me or is it not even becoming any easier?
The dynamic is different, the expectations are high, the pace is plotted out, and people are less open minded because of a perceived endless pool of alternatives and opportunities. I hate playing “The Game” and all the pressures of these rules and etiquette of when to message, if to message, how often to message, don’t message first if you messaged last the night before, generally don’t be too available or he’ll lose interest…all this just gives me anxiety!
Is this really how we date now?
Girl meets guy. Girl is confused if the guy is not actively trying to spend time with her in person (clearly He’s Just Not That Into You) but still wary if he’s way too eager to spend all his time with her (don’t trust him, what’s his end game?). She gets frustrated and thinks to herself this doesn’t feel right, so the girl moves on to another, hoping to find what she thinks she deserves.
Instead of actively trying to reach out and get together, the one who shows the most interest is called desperate. The one who is vulnerable and open to letting others get to know them gets ignored. Instead of making time to spend with someone else and have conversations or share an experience, we try to kill two birds with one stone and make a party or a club the date. Instead of focusing on the time spent together, we worry about the money spent and who should pay for the date.
People don’t even want to step up and tell the other person they’re not interested anymore, that’s what “ghosting” is for.
Maybe the girl you think is bitter has had enough of this loop and disappointed and flat out fed up with what’s shes met with in the dating pool.