As you might have realised by now, I love topics about relationships and how the differences between men and women help or hinder us from understanding each other.
This week I was having some conversations with my group of female friends and a few one-on-one chats with some male friends. One of the topics was whether or not men do anything anymore to impress women. Right off the bat one of the guys distinguished between impressing and showing appreciation. In conversation with another guy it came out that the impressing someone does early on turns into appreciation later on. The females agreed men hardly do anything early on to impress women and in fact, some of the things men do to “impress” (like ironing a shirt, cutting their nails, wearing appropriate shoes) should be common place norms already.
The conversation with one of the guys turned into how pointless things like trying to impress and chivalry are in the age of female equality. He was not budging that women are unreasonable for asking men to do extra for them and be required to reciprocate. Even when I put it to the man to ask for it the same way women do. But today I came across this post that highlights what the modern woman thinks about chivalry and if it’s something that is still required or is outdated.
Here are the responses I agreed with:
“Chivalry is when you see an opportunity for kindness or an opportunity to help a person feel safe, and you take it — without expecting anything at all in return, not even a smile. Sometimes it means engaging, and sometimes it means leaving a person alone. And it definitely doesn’t belong to any gender.”
-Shawna, 27, Performance Artist in New York, NY
Women, too, should practice kindness towards men as well. They like to feel appreciated and respected too. And, don’t take kindness expressed toward you for granted! Definitely reciprocate!
This next one is soooooo me!
“Sometimes I think I’m a bit more old fashioned than most. Opening doors, offering his jacket when it’s cold, making sure I get home safe, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, sending me something at work that he knows I’ll enjoy, and even something as small as calling me. Chivalry is something I desire, but not necessarily expect.”
-Amber, 27, Nanny in Brooklyn, NY
I feel like its gravy. It’s always so much nicer with it.
And finally, this one takes the cake!
“I interpret chivalry as a step beyond courtesy. If courtesy is waiting in your car to see a date safely inside, chivalry is walking them to their doorstep. If courtesy is keeping a door held open, chivalry is opening the door so they may go in ahead. Courtesy should be expected, but chivalry is a welcome surprise. It’s a sweet indulgence and I love to practice it.”
-Alexandra, 29, Professional Karaoke Maven in Montreal, QC
These statements are, to me, what the female equality movement should have done. Bring women up to the same standard of kindness and courtesy that men had been required to show, instead of men taking it upon themselves to be like women and not do anything at all.
Image sourced from Background image created by Bedneyimages – Freepik.com