Online Friending and Dating

New city, new friends, new pool of dating potential?

I had so much apprehension joining dating apps. I never felt like I needed to. I felt like I met enough people organically and when I wasn’t talking to anyone, I really enjoyed being single.

I started enjoying being single so much that I took myself off the market so I can enjoy all of my me time. I got to work on myself, focus on my hobbies, and enjoy all the freedom. The thought of sharing my divinely curated life and lifestyle with someone did not seem appealing. I didn’t want to have to share my quirks with anyone to be judged about and didn’t feel the need to share my preferences or likes with anyone else.

Have I been single too long?

Now that I’ve come to a new city, I thought I should try to make friends and try dating. How do adults make friends? How do shy adults make friends or meet people?

Some of my friends back home tell me go for it and not to overthink this, but others say don’t do it and consider it a move of desperation. My main apprehension about joining these apps is rooted in fear of meeting or being exposed to undesirable characters. I’m late to the dating app game compared to other millennials so I have lots of questions and I don’t know how to navigate all the dating app etiquette. Should I use my real name? How do you write a bio that is short, witty, and interesting? Which app has the best privacy and security settings for my information? Which app is the one to avoid people who just want to hook up again?

The way all of my fears really started to subside was to just jump in there, and rest assured knowing that no one else knows what they’re doing either. Everyone started where I’m starting from. I just have to let go of being afraid to share my life and being judged for it or having to change.

So why now? Am I even ready?

I’m ready to start getting ready. I’ll never actually be ready and comfortable to share my life with someone if I’m out of practice meeting people. And, there’s no rule saying I have to rush this either. I can make connections with people, and chat with them online until I’m comfortable meeting in person, even if that is two or three months down the line (is that a long time?). That is actually exactly why I chose the Covid-19 social distancing period to join these apps. This will give me months possibly to chat and get to know people without the pressure of meeting in person before I’m ready.

So let’s see how this goes. Wish me luck!


Published by Cimmy35

My very first blog experience was when MSN had "Spaces" (long, loonnngggg time ago) and mine was a true reflection of my personality: pink in every customisable option and full of nothingness and nonsense. I created this space to try my hand at writing and sharing what I learn and discover about life, love, and the world in general, with much less pink. Thanks for visiting and enjoy!

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